I thought that the worst of the Hyper symptoms were behind me. The sweating, insomnia, heart palps, tremors, and general edginess. Plot twist: now comes hair loss. That’s right, folks. My hair is now slowly but surely coming out.
But you have so much of it, it doesn’t make a difference.
Not true my adoring hair fans – I have much volume but not necessarily a thick, lush head of hair. I just know how to make it look big so I had everyone fooled. In reality, I don’t have that much to lose. So no, you won’t look at me and gasp, but when I tell you I have exceeded the average number of hairs humans lose every day (Googled before my shower), I do not speak in hyperbole, I speakuh the truth. Also, I counted.
I noticed it coming out in the shower last week and my brain registered how it felt in my fingers as feeling like more and What. The. Fresh. Fuck. Is. This? After four or five days, it was undeniable (trust me, I was trying my hardest to squeeze my eyes shut and denydenydeny).
I can only attribute it to my Hyperthyroid because it is a known symptom (doc confirmed). But I thought I scooted under the limbo stick on my roller skates looking over my shoulder, “See ya hair probz!” Then the universe was all, “B–, please give it a minute.”
What to do about this? Well, for one thing, you cry a little bit when you see it coming out. Tears help to defuse the emotion. Then, you call in the troops and procure some derm-level hair products from an insider who has access to all the good stuff (thanks Meg, you’re a queen). You wash it only every few days. You slowly, gently, and gingerly run a wide tooth comb through it because it’s gets crazy tangled (a side effect of having bleached my hair in November: it stripped out the suppleness and it is now added to the list of things I’ll never do again). Finally, you have to just deal with it.
But it’s still upsetting. Call me vain. Call me whatever you want to call me about it (being a Grown Ass Woman means I don’t care a lick about what you think). Hair and skin are the first things people see about you. They give you, and even your life, away if someone cares to take notice. All our good and bad habits, illness and stress can be seen in our bodies. One look at my puffy, baggy eyes several months back and someone knew I had Hyper.
Again, it’s upsetting. As I pack my boxes, fret over cross-country logistics, notice my heart palps have returned (no doubt due to moving stress), get angry at myself for owning just too much stuff whydoiownsomuchgoddamnstuff????, why do I have to add on a layer of concern about hair loss?
I don’t know why. And, I don’t have the mental brain space to add another piece of drama into my special craft cocktail of Overwhelmed either. The upside is that my body just started losing the weight it gained from one of my meds. My clothes are fitting. I’m light in yoga again. These are all great, great, great things. I don’t want to go back on that medication so I have to calm the heck down and pick my stress battles. Right? That’s what I need to do, yes?
However, I can’t lie to you (I would never), it’s on my mind 18/7 (b/c I sleep so it’s not 24; another plus, I’m sleeping so much better now). The hair thinning is temporary (though, we don’t know how long it will last) so for now, I do the only thing I know how which is to take some action.
Hear ye, hear ye: I would like to crowd source some hair tips. If you have any hair strengthening knowledge, please drop some on me forthwith. I’m already on some special vitamins, using a shampoo and a scalp spritz. New ideas and product recs welcome.
SEATTLE UPDATE: T-minus 6 days until I’m on a plane, Seattle-bound. I am currently at the intersection of How will I get all this done? and I’ll get it all done, because I just will. I do the little cha-cha back and forth over that line. It’s a fun dance (not really, though).